Creating a life that energizes and inspires you often means reaching
beyond what’s easy. And when you reach beyond what’s easy, at some
point you’re bound to encounter fear. Whether you let that fear stop you
or not is up to you.
Here are eight fear-busting questions to help you blast through it.
Ask a positive “What if?”
So many people get paralyzed with fear by two little words. What if?
Invariably what that actually means is, “What if something bad happens?”
What if it’s a disaster? What if I look stupid? What if it’s not perfect? And
each of these future possibilities is completely made up in the person’s
mind.
As long as you are making up the future, why not ask, “What if
something good happens?” What if it’s successful? What if I love the
outcome? What if it gets a standing ovation?
Who can help me?
When you feel fear’s grip start to take hold, one great question to ask
is, “Who can help me?” None of us has the ability to do it all. The more
you try to do it alone, the less doable it feels, and the more potential
fear has to render you immobile.
That help might come in many forms, depending on what you need.
Maybe it is from a more-experienced mentor. Maybe you need to find
someone who has complementary skills. It might be emotional support
from a friend or loved one. Or perhaps it’s the mutual support of others
who are trying toachieve the same thing as you.
What one step can I take?
Action is one of the best antidotes to fear you can find. When you’re
faced with something you want to achieve and fear is looming large, try
asking, “What one step can I take?” Often, the momentum created by
simply taking a step can reduce the fear, raise your confidence
(because you’re actually taking action and not quaking in your boots),
and make it easier to take more steps.
What is the worst that can happen? (I mean, realistically)
So much fear comes from looking to the extreme end of the worst case
scenario spectrum. We take a pile of doom, add a heap of disaster, and
mix it all to create a hyperbolic calamity of earth-shattering proportions.
No wonder we feel fear!
Trouble is, that projected calamity is usually far from reality. One way
to counter that is to stop and say, “What is the worst that can happen…
realistically?” While the extreme worst case might be theoretically
possible, in most situations it is far removed from what is likely.
When you move the potential downside in your mind towards a more
realistic (and less devastating) worst case scenario, you reduce the
negative charge holding you back.
How can I minimize the danger of…?
Fear gets a bad rap, largely because we too often let it take control.
But when we let it be in service of our dreams, it can be a useful tool.
How? By using it to point the way towards opportunities to minimize the
potential downside.
Rather than letting fear become the predictor of what you will experience,
use it to shine the light on ways to reduce negative potential. Ask, “How
can I minimize the danger of this outcome I fear? What steps can I take
to eliminate, or at least decrease, the possibility of this outcome?”
Has it been done before? How?
Fear sometimes leads us to feel like, “it can’t be done.” When you
bump up against that, ask yourself, “Has it been done before?” Then
ask, “How?”
The fact that it has been done before reduces the element of the
unknown. If someone else has done whatever you fear, there is a greater
possibility that you can too. Asking “how?” can yield insights on the
logistics of making it happen. The more you know about how to do it,
the less guesswork (and fear-inducing unknown) there is.
How can I make this doable?
Any article on facing fear is going to have this suggestion, but
there’s a reason for that. Most of what we want to achieve doesn’t need
to be done in one monumental leap. And yet we persist in letting the
monumental leap create fear for us. It just seems too big. What to do?
Break it into doable chunks.
There’s the old joke, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is, “One
bite at a time.” Often our fear comes when we try to imagine eating the
entire elephant and think that it has to happen with one big bite. But it
doesn’t. Asking, “What one step can I take” lets you identify your next
bite and start chewing.
Why am I doing this?
Sometimes overcoming fear means simply shifting your perspective.
Rather than focusing on what you are going to do (the thing inducing the
fear), focus on the positive energy of the desired outcome.
Maybe that outcome is a personal benefit (if I take this step, it will open
the door to this opportunity). Or maybe it is about making a difference
for something bigger than yourself. When the answer to “why am I doing
this” is about making a difference that inspires you and pulls you forward,
it’s easier to set aside the fear and focus on that positive outcome.
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