It’s February already, and if you’re like most people, by now your New Year’s
resolution has
probably failed. If it has, I say, “Good!” Now you can get down to the business
of making sustainable,
long-lasting change without the unrealistic demands of instant gratification
getting in your way.
Here are some ideas to help you make that change.
Make sure you really want to
OK, this seems like a no-brainer, but do you really want to make the change? If
you’re going into
it with a half-assed commitment to change, it’s not hard to guess what kind of
results you’re going
to get. Sit down and ask yourself honestly, “Is this a change I’m really
willing to commit to?”
Ask why you want to change
If the answer to the last question is yes, do yourself a favor and get a clear
picture of why you
want to change. What’s in it for you? What’s the benefit? How will your life be
better if you do?
What will happen if you don’t? Create a vivid picture for yourself of why you
want this change.
Make New Week's resolutions
I’ve never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions. Sure, they occasionally lead
to change that
sticks, but more often they wither and die. They just don’t jive with the way
we actually function.
You don’t have an “on switch” that you can flip and trust that it will stay
that way. Solid,
long-lasting change is developed over time.
With that in mind, take another tack. If you must make resolutions, do them
weekly. This has
several benefits. First, it keeps you recommitting to whatever change you’re
trying to make.
Second, it gives you frequent chances to hop back on board if you’ve fallen
off. And third, the
cumulative effect is much more likely to create change than a one-shot deal.
Let’s say over the next forty-eight weeks you succeed in implementing the
change for forty of
those weeks and fail in eight of them. If you want to get statistical about it,
that means your
change efforts have succeeded over 83% of the time. And that is WAY better than
the 0%
that tends to come when the New Year’s resolution fails.
Think habit creation, not wholesale change
If you are relying on willpower alone to make a change, your chances for
success diminish
significantly. Studies have shown that willpower is actually a limited resource
(see p. 169 in
The Power of Full Engagement) by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwarz. As the authors put it,
“The limitations of conscious will and discipline are rooted in the fact that
every demand on our
self-control – from deciding what we eat to managing frustration, from building
an exercise
regimen to persisting at a difficult task – all draw on the same small easily
depleted reservoir of
energy.”
On the other hand, if you can develop a habit, it becomes second nature. You
don’t have to draw
on your willpower reserves to keep it going. And, to harp on a recurring theme
here, habits don’t
happen with the flip of a switch. They develop over time.
Create a change support system
Imagine resolving to make a change, but not letting anyone know. It’s all in
your head, and
nobody will know whether you continue with it or not. Now imagine committing to
that same
change, but telling someone else about it. And more than just telling them
about it, you ask
them to help you stay accountable for it. Which change do you suppose has a
better chance
of sticking?
Creating a change support system could play out in numerous ways. It could look
like an
accountability partner. It could be getting involved in a group who are all
motivated to reach
their goals. It could be finding some kind of online connection that supports
your change.
Whatever it looks like, the important thing is getting the change out of your
head and into the
open air.
Don't be afraid to hit reset...again, and again, and again
Here’s the reality. Even with the best of intentions, your intended change is
likely to slide off
track before it finally takes hold. Don’t be afraid to hit reset as many times
as it takes. Recognize
that change is an organic process. Each time you bring yourself back and
recommit, you take
another step towards making that positive change real.
--
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